A New Friend


This beautiful girl had a really tough day yesterday (adoption loss sucks).  It was one of those days where you just want to be able to take all her pain away, but you know it's important for her to feel it and mourn too.  Instead we gave lots of hugs, we told many stories, we printed new photos, and we talked about the things we have in our home from Guatemala.  And then we took EJ's special doll down from her high shelf and decided it was time that this doll is loved instead of protected.

A birthday celebration, a photo timeline and a class discussion about worry dolls all triggered EJ's grief.  I hope that having her new friend "Dorothy" with her for naptime, playtime and a special visit to show-and-tell tomorrow help her to start healing and working through all those feelings of sadness and loss, happiness and love.  It's too much for a (almost) 5-year-old to handle without a friend who "gets it."
nora said...

The "gets it" piece is so what I'm looking for. J. has lots of friends at school and even some Guate friends at school, but she hasn't connected her thoughts about adoption with anothe person (not even Cecilia.) Sorry yesterday was so hard. THinking good thoughts.

AEK said...

You and Matt are such good parents. You tapped into her feelings right away and helped as best as you can. The smile on her face says it all. Hope today was a better day for all.

farfromharmfarm said...

{{hugs}}

cyndi said...

She's such a part of your family that I actually forget that she's adopted! The feelings & emotions she has must be so scary for her. Love how you & Matt are so in tune with how she's feeling & are able to help her through these emotions. I have a feeling the doll is gonna be a HUGE help :-)

tracie @ {tsj} photography said...

this breaks my heart. for her. for you guys.

i have so many things to say, to share, so many things in my heart. i know the feeling of wanting to take the pain away. i know what it looks like to watch your children walk through grief and the overwhelming, hopeless feeling to have to watch them, knowing they just have to feel it and walk through it.

time heals, but it's always there, waiting to surface again at the next "trigger."

children shouldn't have to deal with heavy issues, they should play, and giggle and live as children do. no worries, no cares, no grief.

but i believe these moments will make them stronger ... they'll be able to turn and help others someday walk through their grief paths. it hurts now, but they're being prepared for their future. a big, bright, and hopeful future.

i love that dorothy is now being loved on ...

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